New Year's Magic


I'm overweight and overstressed,
My life is in an awful mess!
My house looks like a bomb exploded,
My charge accounts are overloaded.
I'm a lousy cook, but that's OK,
We've got no groceries anyway.
The laundry hamper's overflowing,
My plants are brown, and they've stopped growing.
Lucky for me it's late December,
And help is right around the corner.

I'll fix my life, I know I can,
It won't be hard, I have a plan.
For every problem my solution
Will be a New Year's resolution!
A whole new person I'll become,
>Effective January one.

I'll never eat another sweet.
I'll exercise 10 hours a week.
I'll learn to stencil, quilt, and cook,
My house will have that "Stewart" look.
My thinking will be motivational,
My reading strictly educational.
I'll save my pay and invest wisely,
I'll skip TV to do the laundry.
I'll do good deeds, floss every night,
Be sweet and kind and never fight.

It's great! It's simple! It's so easy!
But suddenly, I'm feeling queasy.
Wait just a minute, could it be. . .
It's slowly coming back to me.
There's one big flaw in my solution:
These all were LAST year's resolutions!