The Annoying Clan
There are people I'm encountering with more and more frequency who would make even Andy Rooney more dyspeptic than he is. I know you've seen them. You must be familiar with:
The people with backpacks who completely fail to compensate for their artificial hump, thereby knocking you silly every time they turn around. They are especially damaging in airplane aisles.
The woman in the checkout line waiting in stone silence while a half-ton of purchases are rung up, who is shocked to hear the cashier ask for money, and then rummages through a 12 cubic foot carry-all to find the cash.
Speaking of which, who are these people who pay for $2.95 in charges with a check, necessitating a driver's license, call to the manager, and a blood test? No one should be allowed to write a check in public for less than $50.
The receptionist who screams "Please hold!" as soon as she picks up the phone, leaving you stranded when all you needed was an extension number.
The hotel desk clerk who sees you approach at ten at night with a bellman carrying three of your bags and incredibly asks, "Checking in?" (No, I'm walking my luggage.)
The linguistically-challenged airline flight attendants who insist on wishing us the best at our "final destination." I hope they can handle the emergency exits better than they can speak. Who knows, there could be an accidental, unforeseen, unprecedented, unanticipated accident.
Anyone who says the appalling "Between you and I ." and in particular, TV news people.
The rambler who interjects sentences with "You know what I mean?" and "You get what I'm saying?" and won't continue unless you affirm you're keeping up with the turgid pace.
That irritating clod who asks a question just as the instructor says, "Well, if there are no more questions, let's adjourn," or has one more comment when someone suggests, "Why don't we move on?"
All of the technical illiterates who believe that a cell phone doesn't work unless you shout into it, and that shouting even louder will overcome interference.
The store clerk or bank teller who says, "There you go," instead of, "Thank you." (There I go out the door never to return.)
Terminally self-absorbed people who walk four abreast down the sidewalk or concourse, preventing anyone from exceeding their snail-like pace. (They can provide a final destination on a ski trail.)
The guy who stops an elevator in a 40-story building to go down one floor.
The legislator who decided that everything must be in Braille, including elevator floors in parking garages.
The service mavens who insist on a gazillion follow-up calls to check on service but nothing ever changes or improves.
The family sitting next to you at the posh restaurant using silverware as it it's medieval weaponry
You don't know these folks? Oh, oh....